you know what it does to me to see your number on the phone

maybe my interpretation is completely skewed.

maybe i went about that whole thing wrong?

maybe i shouldn’t have “agreed” to breaking up because i was trying to do what was best for the other person, not myself.

maybe i should have fought from the beginning.

maybe i shouldn’t have been so naive to think nothing would change when the other person moved 4 hours away.

maybe i shouldn’t have counted on them so much.

maybe i should have lived my life more instead of trying to make them happy.

maybe i should have demanded a little more respect.

maybe i should have done a lot of things.

but i didn’t.

& i’ve let someone completely play games with my emotions, time after time after time.

i wasn’t born yesterday.

but i fall for it each time.

so i cried (yeah, i wrote that, it’s out there, i haven’t let myself cry over this in forever, but i did).

& i’m writing this post so i remember not to be so dumb in the future.

& i’m figuring out how to meet ian somerhalder because i want to marry him.

& i’m picking everything back up & keeping busy.

because that’s what i do.

& hey, the past is just practice, right?

heart finger tattoo



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