you know what it does to me to see your number on the phone
maybe my interpretation is completely skewed.
maybe i went about that whole thing wrong?
maybe i shouldn’t have “agreed” to breaking up because i was trying to do what was best for the other person, not myself.
maybe i should have fought from the beginning.
maybe i shouldn’t have been so naive to think nothing would change when the other person moved 4 hours away.
maybe i shouldn’t have counted on them so much.
maybe i should have lived my life more instead of trying to make them happy.
maybe i should have demanded a little more respect.
maybe i should have done a lot of things.
but i didn’t.
& i’ve let someone completely play games with my emotions, time after time after time.
i wasn’t born yesterday.
but i fall for it each time.
so i cried (yeah, i wrote that, it’s out there, i haven’t let myself cry over this in forever, but i did).
& i’m writing this post so i remember not to be so dumb in the future.
& i’m figuring out how to meet ian somerhalder because i want to marry him.
& i’m picking everything back up & keeping busy.
because that’s what i do.
& hey, the past is just practice, right?